NEED A TOWEL TO WIPE THAT SCHADENFREUDE OFF YOUR FACE?

(Originally posted Sunday, Oct. 1.)

Taking pleasure in the misfortune of others, indeed, on the final day of the baseball season:

• Tigers blow six-run lead, lose AL Central title in extras: This is especially sweet for Blue Jays fans who still have fresh wounds from the final week of the '87 season. (Thanks to The Geek, I have a lot of issues left over from childhood, and not all old Sports Illustrateds.) In Sunday's capper, the Tigers blew a six-run lead at home against a 100-loss Kansas City team and ended up with the wild-card and a playoff matchup against the Yankees instead of a division title.
  
  Detroit lost five of its final six games, all at home, to essentially hand the AL Central title to Minnesota. And they lost three straight against the Royals, who were 1-14 against Detroit before this weekend.

• Smoltz blanks Astros for six innings to end postseason hopes: Two wins this weekend would have been enough for the Astros to force St. Louis to play that makeup game against San Francisco tomorrow, but Roger Clemens' team couldn't even manage that. Oh, and now it comes to light Clemens was among those that Jason Grimsley named as users of performance-enhancing drugs?
• Jeter falls short of batting title as Yanks fall to Jays: Sorry, Derek Jeter, not on our watch. You should win AL MVP honours, but the Jays weren't about to let you deny Minnesota's hometown hero, Joe Mauer, from becoming the first catcher to win the American League batting title. Mauer went 2-for-3 to finish at .347, while the Jays held Jeter to a measly single and a final average of .343. Oh, and Josh Towers of all people got the win for the Jays, running his record to 2-10 as Toronto clinched second place, for what that's worth.
• Credit Hansack for pitching no-hit ball for five innings: Sorry, there was no way that Red Sox Nation could be allowed to wring some salvation out of their third-place season by having a rookie throw a no-hitter on the final day of the season. Devern Hansack pitched five hitless innings in a rain-shortened win over the Orioles, but it won't count as an official no-hitter... not because it was against the Orioles, but because the game has to go at least nine innings.
• Indians' Lee wins first nine-inning complete game: Cliff Lee went the route for Cleveland, giving the Devil Rays their 101st loss, most in the majors. The D-Rays are the first team to hit the century mark in losses while having a winning record at home.

Last baseball note: Have to stick up here for Larry Poncino, the umpire involved in one of weirder final outs you'll ever see in the Padres' 7-6 NL West-clinching win over Arizona. With two out and a runner on first in the ninth, a ground ball was hit to the right side. Arizona's Chris Young had to do a little tap dance to avoid being hit by the ball and fell down. The Padres' Josh Barfield made the stop, but his throw to first pulled Adrian Gonzalez off the bag. Gonzalez, though, alertedly threw to second base for your standard 4-3-6 forceout.

Poncino, not seeing a tag made, signalled Young safe, then reversed his call when Padres manager Bruce Bochy argued. So there were the Padres, celebrating a NL West title, while Arizona manager Bob Melvin was arguing with the umpires.

In Poncino's defence, umpires are taught to "let the ball turn you into the play." He had probably been hustling to get in position and may not have seen that there was no play at first base, removing the force at second.

By the way, the Padres' 170 wins over the past two seasons is the fewest ever for a back-to-back division winner, surpassing, if that's the word, the mark of 175 shared by the '84-85 Royals and '97-98 Indians.

Back with more later. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.