CFL: ESKIMOS LEFT OUT IN THE COLD

Mrs. Krabappel: You dream about this day for so long, then when it comes, you don't know what to say.
Skinner: Edna, your tears say more than words ever could.

Turns out all that poor-mouthing in Edmonton that was panned in this space's CFL preview four months ago was spot-on.

The Edmonton Eskimos, for the first time since 1971, won't be taking part in the CFL playoffs. Yesterday, the Toronto Argonauts did the whole CFL a friggin' favour, dousing their flickering playoff hopes with a 28-25 win at Commonwealth Stadium.

To put this in perspective, among the CFL cultists, especially those who live on the Prairies, this is akin to Man U being relegated from the Premiership, the Yankees finishing with 120 losses, or Duke being turned down for a trip to the NCAA and the National Invitiational tournament.

Or the U.S. losing in baseball to Canada, in basketball to Greece and in Olympic women's hockey to Sweden, all in the same calendar year. Wait, that actually happened alrady.

The City of Champions is on the outside looking in a league where six of eight teams make the playoffs. (About that sobriquet: Long-time Calgary Herald columnist Catherine Ford notes in her memoir Against The Grain, Calgarians "call themselves a city of winners, and appreciate the subtle difference.")

Calgary is a cosmopolitian city (well, by Canadian standards anyhow) , a major tourist destination, but it's always Edmonton that's had the tradition of sports success, between the Oilers' five Stanley Cups and the Eskimos' many Grey Cup. Now the Stamps are a Grey Cup contender and Edmonton's reduced to spectators. Enjoy it, because it probably won't happen again.

As for the Argos, it was a typical win for Pinball Clemons' crew, which is to say they had 20 fewer first downs and close to 200 yards less offence than Edmonton, yet somehow won. D-Back Byron Parker took an interception all the way back for a fourth-quarter touchdown that gave them an insurmountable 10-point lead.

That's all for now. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.