FLITTING AROUND WITH MY GOB OPEN AS A SOCCER DILETTANTE

Stuff that was on my mind while I marvelled at the Brits' ability to enunciate every syllable -- there are four ... who knew? -- of the word "metatarsal."

The World Cup is fast approaching, which means it's time to start scouring UK newspaper websites and the odd soccer message board to get up to speed. Merry old England is agog these days over the injured Michael Owen and Wayne Rooney's fitness for the Cup group, which leads to the usual doubts being raised about Sven-Goran Eriksson, and the usual English fatalism borne out not having won the World Cup since 1966. (By the way, is "Sven-Goran Eriksson" Swedish for John Ferguson Junior?)

My favourite comment at the Telegraph's forum comes from "Ivor," who says:

Can Erikkson improvise? Without Rooney or Owen there is not much chance.
Crouch will flit around with his gob open, waiting for someone to tell him
where to stand.

Flit around with his gob open? Like the kid in Eurotrip said, admiringly, "You are totally on a different level of swearing over here."

• Sunday was the end of an era in English football (jeez, 2 soccer items on the same day?!), as Arsenal played its final game at Highbury after 93 years. Thierry Henry had three goals in a 4-2 win over Wigan. You don't even have to be a soccer fan to realize this is one of those moves where we won't know what we've lost until five, 10 years down the road. This isn't like Fenway Park, Lambeau Field and the Montreal Forum. It's all three rolled into one. Ray Davies of The Kinks fame has some Highbury memories. (Thanks to my friend Neil Acharya for the links.)
• Man, it's been a while since I could work up a hate-on like the one Neal Pollack had for the Lakers. Here he was on the eve of Saturday's Game 7: "The Lakers are a bunch of thugs, head cases and rapists, led by a cocky, stupid man-child who lords his admittedly superior talent over his opponents (and everyone else), as though he was living out some sort of pre-ordained historical destiny. The Suns are a likable gang of misfits, plus one thug, led by a Communist Canadian with bad hair. Who would you root for?"
• Who was it who said Casey Janssen would break his big-league maiden against the Angels? The kid from the O.C. threw 7 1/3 innings of one-hit shutout ball in the Jays' 3-1 win on Sunday. Not a bad way to pick up your first major-league win.

NHL PLAYOFFS, DAY 17

• DUCKS 3 AVALANCHE 0 (Anaheim leads 2-0): Who can score on Ilya Bryzgalov? Apparently no one can, as the Ducks' devil-may-care rookie goalie blanked the Avs again for his third-straight goose egg, putting Anaheim up 2-0 over Colorado. Bryzgalov's skein gives Toronto sportswriters licence to mention that the last goalie to have three straight shutouts in the playoffs was the Leafs' Frank (Ulcers) McCool back in 1945. (Remember, it always has to be about the Leafs, somehow, some way.) Really, the story here is that Anaheim's defence is letting their goalie essentially go entire games without being tested. On one power play today, Colorado didn't have anyone within two stick-lengths of Bryzgalov to either screen him or deflect a shot.
• SHARKS 2 OILERS 1 (San Jose leads 1-0): You just keep getting the feeling the Sharks are still operating on five, maybe six cylinders. Game 1 tonight bore a stark resemblance to San Jose's last round, save for the absence of sweaters with a logo that should be on some crappy children's toy. The Sharks just turned it up whenever they felt like it, and pushed Edmonton around in their own end. Yes, the guys in teal from California were much, much tougher. Patrick Marleau scored San Jose's first goal and set up the second, validating, for one night at least, my theory about the extra motivation the Sharks' Western Canada boys have to beat Edmonton. The Oilers, meantime, didn't have Dwayne Roloson they would be in major trouble.

DAY 18 LOOK AHEAD

• 7 p.m., SABRES AT SENATORS (Buffalo leads 1-0): Ottawa plays their second Most Important Game in Senators History of these playoffs. Lose this one, and every linen store in the national capital region will do a booming business in crying towels. The Senators responded well after giving away Game 2 against Tampa; the sneaking feeling here is they will again. This team is too good to go down meekly, and the Sabres don't look like the team who can take the Sens down. I know, I know: Famous last words.
• 7:30 p.m., DEVILS AT CANES (Carolina leads 1-0): Conventional wisdom -- now there's an oxymoron -- is that after running off 15 straight wins, New Jersey needed to lose one. Might as well get waxed 6-0 and start over. Maybe so, maybe not, but the Devils will be fine. After playing the Rangers, they might have forgotten what playoff hockey should be like.
• 10:30 p.m., OILERS AT SHARKS (San Jose leads 1-0): Second verse, same as the first. The Sharks will win this one, but their fans are guaranteed at least one more home game in this round.

That's all for now. We'll talk again soon.