RANDOM OFFENSIVES OVER LUNCH

A few items that preoccupied me while I got physio for a lower body injury. (Is that what the kids call it these days?)

• In the next life, Saku Koivu is going to be infinitely more lucky than he is in this one -- the Canadiens captain, a cancer survivor who's overcome numerous other injuries, is out indefinitely with an eye injury. Maybe the Habs will rally and win without him, but that's a secondary concern now.
• NHL playoffs, Day 7. A quartet of Game 4s tonight. 7 p.m., SENS AT LIGHTNING: Dany Heatley won't be squeezing the stick so hard now that he's popped his playoff goal-scoring cherry; and it's been made perfectly clear the Lightning's defensive depth chart is so thin you could read a newspaper through it. Tampa will be better than they were on Tuesday, but this one is in the Senators' hands; 9:30, RED WINGS AT OILERS: Gut suspicion here is the Red Wings even it up; count Chris Pronger among the NHLers who is trying to wipe away the stain of Canada coming home empty-handed from Turin; 10 p.m., FLAMES AT DUCKS: Anaheim is a bunch of dead ducks if J.S. Giguere can't steal them a win in this series; 10:30, PREDS AT SHARKS: San Jose seems to have worn Nashville down, especially in the Predators' own zone, and Joe Thornton is due for a big night, even with all the defensive attention he's getting.
• Get ready for the Casey Janssen experience . . . he'll make his major-league debut for the Jays tonight against the Orioles, who are looking for a slump-buster after losing four straight. This doesn't look promising. A win would make the Jays 6-2 during this stretch against the AL East.
• Hey, we might have found something even more tiresome and preening than the NFL Draft! Every columnist who passes up the chance to be original by letting you know how they can't stand it. Michael Wilbon gets a free pass here, SI.com's Ethan Trex, not so much. With regard to Trex, it's nice to see Sports Illustrated is giving columns to people who look about 16 and write like they're 12.
• Look, it's not "blasphemy" (Wilbon's word, not mine) to say you hate draft day. No one is going to smite you for it, or boil you in oil. It is what it is: cheap and easy promotion for the NFL, and cheap and easy programming for ESPN. Just like when Canada's sports networks devote a full day to NHL the trade deadline. No more, no less. It's like a cow turd on the side of a country road. You see it, you smell it, but you have the power not to step in it. And in the end, all complaining does is draw more attention to it -- not that I'm accusing Wilbon, who's also an ESPN personality, of doing that. So much for the free pass, though.
• Of course, I'm the guy who's complained to no end about the trade-deadline coverage in March, so mark me down as a hypocritical bastard.
• Oh, so Brett Farv-ruh wants to play another year of football? This is rich. Just send my Minnesota Vikings the two victories now.
• Honesty is a rare thing these days, but not with Toronto Star's soccer guy, Cathal Kelly, who just became my new personal hero for writing, "The breakthrough is never coming. Soccer will be a fringe sport on this continent forever — just the way I like it." There's something to share with every misguided parent who signs up little Jenna and Jason for soccer instead of baseball.

That's all for today. Do me a favour and pray that none of the Western games require multiple overtimes.