MIDDAY MISSIVES

. . . on this final Friday in April, a day that will always be remembered as for falling between the last Thursday in April and the last Saturday in April.

So, Ricky Williams could play football in Toronto, and the NCAA is planning to host a bowl game there? Isn't it a little late for April Fools' Day jokes?

This pushes the playoffs and the Blue Jays down the queue. Sorry, lads.

First off, enough with the snickering tone that prevails whenever Ricky Williams is in the news these days. Yes, the guy deserved to be raked over the coals (and then some) when he bailed on the Dolphins three years ago, so close to training camp and on some bogus pretense of finding himself when he was really trying to get out of a suspension.

But the criticism has gone from justified to self-righteous to lemon-sucking cruel. My friend Neil Acharya (check out cyberkrib.com, Neil's got an interview with M1 of Dead Prez) and I were kicking this around just now, and we can't figure it out what it is with 99% of sportswriters: they complain about jocks who never think about anything more complicated than their playbooks, and on the other hand. Then when the jock sniffers come across an athlete who isn't who they think he should be, and doesn't act like they think he should, they get all indignant. Can't have your (free) cake and eat it too, fellas.

That was my take on this Len Pasquarelli article at ESPN.com about Ricky being placed on the Toronto Argonauts negotiation list. Williams has battled with mental health issues -- social anxiety, depression. Having had some similiar issues, let me tell you, even in our PC, uber-feminized society, people still don't understand what it's like. I can't explain it without putting myself into a downward spiral, but the most I can say is, try to imagine going into every social situation on a weak footing, because the bad chemicals in your body and brain have led you to be convinced that it can only end badly. It's very hard to function.

I can't comment on Ricky Williams' situation, of course, but that's kind of what it's like. So lay off him already.

Now, if he wants to come play for the Argos, more power to him. There is an element in the CFL that uses the negotiation list for shits and grins, getting cheap publicity before training camp by putting a recognizable name on your negotiation list, even if you don't expect him to ever play for you. To wit, the Argos once had Ben Johnson on their negotiation list.

By the way, no fewer than four former NFL first-round picks are on the Argos roster. That tells you the Argos seems to be semi-serious about bringing Williams to Canada, and it also tells you how much the NFL Draft is worth.

NHL PLAYOFFS, DAY 8: Just three games tonight. CAROLINA AT MONTREAL, 7 p.m. This series has turned big-time after Saku Koivu's injury and the 'Canes Game 3 overtime win. Yours truly's Carolina-in-6 prediction is back in play. BUFFALO AT PHILADEPHIA, 7 p.m. Has the tide turned here too, or was the last game the final flare in Peter Forsberg's 2006 Roman candle? DALLAS AT COLORADO, 10 p.m. Break out the brooms, Denver. A sweep will flatter the Avalanche, but the Stars have basically been playing well enough to lose.

JAYS HEAD TO NEW YORK: In case Toronto hasn't noticed -- and judging by the attendance, it hasn't -- the Jays are tied with the Yankees heading into this weekend's three-game series in the Bronx.

The Jays are 5-3 on their 15-game stretch against divisional opponents. I've correctly called their last three series (split with the Yankees, two out of three over Boston, two out of three over Baltimore), if not calling the correct wins. Here goes nothing: The Jays will take two out of three, winning behind Roy Halladay tonight and getting Josh Towers his first win of '06 tomorrow, when they once again tee off on the aging Randy Johnson. Gustavo Chacin starts against Mike Mussina on Sunday, and Mussina mesmerized the Jays last week in Toronto.

BOWLING IN TORONTO: The NCAA's already bloated bowl lineup now includes the, wait for it, International Bowl in Toronto.

Like in that old Bill Cosby routine, Riiiiiight.

ESPN, which has turned those week-after-Christmas bowl games between 7-5 teams into a huge cash cow (TSN simulcasts most of the games), must be behind this... perhaps they see some sort of opportunity to tap into the Canadian market.

Stop. They had us as at Tony Kornheiser's "Good night, Canada" on PTI.

Toronto's not a great football town -- they moved the Vanier Cup elsewhere after years of sub-20,000 crowds -- and now they put a NCAA bowl game there? Knowing Toronto, though, they'll be more likely to pack the place for a game between fourth-rate American teams when they couldn't be bothered with Canada's national championship a couple years earlier.

Oh, to be a fly on the wall of some U.S. college team's locker room sometime this fall, the players waiting with bated breath as they wait to hear what bounty awaits them after their 7-5 season. Hawaii? Florida? Anywhere with top-free beaches would be fine.

"Boys, we're spending Christmas in Canada."

The coach will be well-advised to say this from behind a chicken-wire screen like the one in The Blues Brothers.

By the way, no one remembers this but me, but back in the '90s, the NCAA tried to organize a post-season all-star game in Toronto. It was cancelled due to lack of interest.

That's all for now. We'll see you after the hockey game.