Monday, April 24, 2006

LET THE RENDING OF GARMENTS BEGIN

No one in their right mind thought the Ottawa Senators to go through the Stanley Cup playoffs in, as Moses Malone once said, in fo', fo', fo', and fo'.

But by qualifying that last sentence with "right mind," you've pretty much eliminated all Senators fans. (And yes, that was the pot calling the kettle black.)

Of course, Ottawa fans can console themselves by looking around a little and realizing that if this is going to the Year of the Upset, they're not alone. Far from it. Just ask the fans in Calgary, Dallas and Detroit.

The Senators pulled a third-period disappearing act that would make Doug Henning blush last night, mustering two shots in the final 20 minutes, which added up to a series-tying 4-3 win for the Tampa Bay Lightning.

Don't fret, Sens fans. Your team simply got outworked. Nothing to see here.

In fairness, Wade Redden, one of Ottawa's top two defencemen, missed the game after flying home to Saskatchewan after the death of his mother. Apply that to any workplace, and you could see how it would impact the Sens. But at this time of the year, someone has to step up, and none of the Senators remaining defencemen did, certainly not Anton Volchenkov, who was burned on two Tampa goals, including the Martin St. Louis game-winner.

Now, do Senators fans have as much reason to worry as those in the cities of the top three seed West seeds, Calgary, Dallas and Detroit, all of whom have lost home-ice advantage.

The Flames are the lowest-scoring team in the playoffs, suggesting an on-again, off-again relationship with the puck. That manifested itself in four turnovers that led to Anaheim goals last night in a 4-3 win.

Calgary should (repeat, should) be fine. It always comes down to goaltending, and Mikka Kiprusoff is outplaying Jean-Sebastien Giguere.

Dallas is down 1-0 to the 7th-seeded Colorado Avalanche. Goalie Marty Turco was hung out to dry on a couple goals in Saturday's 5-2 Avs win. Plus, between Rob Blake and Joe Sakic, the Avalanche's experience might win the day. (And after the Turin debacle, you can bet those guys have something to prove.)

Detroit, on the other hand, looks vulnerable. The Red Wings yesterday looked like a computer infected with every kind of Spyware known to man -- in a word, slow.

They couldn't break Edmonton's DCIAT (don't call it a trap) defence, gave away the puck twice for the tying and winning goals, and erred by putting Pavel Datsyuk in the lineup when he was obviously too limited to be effective.

The CBC's Kelly Hrudey ran through a series of iso shots of Datsyuk staying away from heavy traffic, taking his sweet time getting back on defence and getting beaten to loose pucks. Guess who was on the ice when Edmonton's Mike Peca nearly added an insurance goal in the third period, but hit the goalpost.

Now I'm kicking myself. I really wanted to go out on a limb and take Edmonton, but in my playoff predictions, I made a by-the-numbers call for a Detroit sweep.

I should have known better, and taken the Oilers. No one would have remembered if I picked them to win and they got wiped out in four or five games.Then again, no one would have remembered if I called the upset, either. Lesson learned.

RON TOO FAR GONE? The Toronto Star's Chris Zelkovich thinks Hockey Night in Canada's head bingo caller, Ron MacLean, is buckling under the strain. We will continue to monitor the situation.

... by Saturday he started to show the strain. Though his heart was in the
right place, his tribute to Canadian soldiers killed in Afghanistan was more
than a little strange thanks to his showing off several snapshots of himself in
military garb after being made an honorary colonel.

What this had to do with hockey is still a mystery.

Following the game, he joined Cherry in one of his frequent glowing
tributes to Tie Domi, fulfilling the CBC's Leafs quotient for the night.

Apparently still unaware that the Leafs were gone, they killed a few
minutes of airtime complaining about the negative press Domi had received.

``He's called a self-promoter for being a guy who earns his pay," MacLean
said, looking downright forlorn.

Yesterday, he opened the day's triple-header by explaining how that term
came about, then added, ``Three heads makes no sense unless you're R.J.
Umberger."

That was a reference to the Philadelphia player who took a tremendous hit
Saturday. Maybe we're better off not knowing what he meant.

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