Ultimate baseball league: Tacoma Rainiers

In our mind's eye, Franklin Gutiérrez will have an ample canvas. The Rainiers, AKA the Seattle Mariners B team, would play in Cheney Stadium, which has a 425-foot centrefield marking. Plenty of room to roam for the best-fielding centrefielder in the game today.

Far be it to suggest a pitching staff bereft of a starter with a 5.0 WAR could use the help of a big ballpark. The Rainiers boast a lefty-heavy staff.

Offensively, the mid-'90s M's are well-represented with Tino Martinez and Jay Buhner in the heart of the batting order. Of course, they were the supporting cast in those days, not the stars. The lack of depth means Canadian Michael Saunders could crack the lineup with a big 2011 season.

STARTING LINEUP

1. LF Phil Bradley, 1985 (4.3). Gave Seattle some credibility in the mid-'80s. Jays fans might remember him more from the 1989 Baltimore Orioles who finished two games behind Toronto; a quick check confirms he did hit .349 with an 1126 OPS against T-dot pitching that season.


2. 2B Bret Boone, 2002 (3.9). It's not like his entire career should be stricken based on some strong suspicions, but the 2002 Boone was closer to his true level than the 2001 (9.3 WAR) or 2003 (7.1) iterations. Was a second baseman of modest talent for much of his career.


3. 1B Tino Martinez,* 1995 (4.6). A fine first basemen who's here since his best season (1997) came with the New York Yankees, who might have employed a decent first basemen or four.


4. DH Leon Roberts, 1978 (4.1). The first Mariner to ever get a MVP vote after hitting .301/.364/.515 with 22 home runs in the team's second season of existence.


5. RF Jay Buhner, 1996 (3.0). I'll take Seattle outfielders not named Junior or Ichiro who have been on SI's cover for $1,000, Alex. Buhner put Seattle on his back during their Drive of '95, hitting 14 homers in the final 29 games.


6. 3B Adrián Beltré, 2006 (4.6). This is probably more representative of who he truly is than whenever he's in a contract season (see 2004, Los Angeles).


7. CF Franklin Gutiérrez (pictured), 2009 (5.4). A worthy heir to the Mariners' tradition of fine defensive centrefielders; a one-man argument for why MLB should not just have the Gold Glove Awards, but a defensive player of the year award.


8. C Bob Stinson,# 1978 (3.0) / Dave Valle 1993 (2.7). If it wasn't for this song, Bob Stinson would have been completely forgotten. A .258/.346/.404 line is good by the standards of Seattle catchers.
   
   Dave Valle's claim to fame is that when he was in a massive slump in 1991, Seattle bars began using his batting average as a beer price. No word of a lie, his absolute lowest average of the season came on the biggest drinking night of the summer, Independence Day, when he dipped down to .128, or $1.28 if you prefer.


9. SS Craig Reynolds,* 1979 (2.4). Has it been mentioned there is a real big drop-off among Mariners shortstops after Alex Rodríguez? Omar Vizquel and Carlos Guillén also did their best work with other franchises, so that leaves the job open to Reynolds, who was the Opening Day starter in the Mariners' maiden season and also an all-star in '78. He co-holds the MLB record of three triples in one game.

STARTING PITCHERS

• RHS Erik Hanson, 1990 (4.6). Used his power curve to record 211 strikeouts in 1990, but was never again that dominant.


• LHS Matt Young, 1983 (4.8). Was better than his lifetime 55-95 record, especially since one of those losses included being the first pitcher to throw an eight-inning complete-game no-hitter and not have it count as an official no-hitter. That was kind of a microcosm for Young's hard-luck career.
  
  
• LHS Dave Fleming, 1992 (4.7). Was a one-hit wonder (17-10, 3.39 ERA in 1992 despite a low strikeout rate) before settling into a quiet normal life as a school teacher.
  
  
• LHS Jeff Fassero, 1997 (4.4). One could set a watch to reading every summer to having Fassero linked to teams that needed another quality starter or a veteran left-hander. His best season was actually in 1996 with the Expos.


• RHS Joel Piñeiro, 2002 (4.4). Quality over quantity; as a fifth starter, it is not such a big deal that Piñeiro is hard-pressed to hit 200 innings every season.


• LHS Floyd Bannister, 1982 (4.3). Quick, who was the first Mariners pitcher to win a strikeout title? No, not Mark Langston. Bannister did it in 1982; he had only two double-digit strikeout games all season.

BENCH

• CF Ruppert Jones,* 1979 (3.3). Some at-bats could be found for the the original Mariner, who was their first expansion draft selection in November 1976.


• OF Wayne Comer, 1969 (3.0). A cheat? Since the criteria for this owes more to Calvinball or TEGWAR, it is kosher to include one Seattle Pilot. Comer was the P's starting centrefielder before the franchise was bogarted by Bud Selig in Milwaukee.


• 2B Joey Cora,# 1997 (2.3). It was not Edgar Martinez or Ken Griffey or Randy Johnson who carried the Mariners into their first league championship series appearance in 1995. It was Cora. Admit it.


• 3B Jim Presley, 1986 (2.0). Adequate player who was one-man explanation for (a) why Edgar Martinez will have a long road to Hall of Fame induction and (b) why the Mariners did not have a winning season until 1991. The two go hand-in-hand. Anyone who had a complete set of 1987 Topps baseball cards (with the awful wood grain design) has a good chance of recall Presley's rather rank ratio of bases on balls (32) to strikeouts (172).

BULLPEN

• RHR Shigetosi Hasegawa, 2003 (3.0). Had a good career in two cultures (3.33 career ERA in Japan, 3.71 in the American League). Was the closer for the Mariners' most recent good team in 2003.


• LHR Ed Vande Berg, 1982 (2.6). Considered the original LOOGY, since in 1982-83 he had more appearances than innings pitched. That means Tony La Russa cannot take full credit for developing the modern bullpen? Let us hope so.


• RHR Jeff Nelson, 1995 (2.5). Threw a wicked slider; among a select few who played for both teams in those three Mariners-Yankees post-season series.


• RHR Mike Timlin, 1998 (2.5). Won two World Series rings with two different AL East franchises who are not named the New York Yankees, so that narrows it down considerably. He's needed more in the Seattle stream.


• CL David Aardsma, 2009 (2.0). Hard-throwing closer for the current Mariners; control can be an issue.

(* left-handed hitter; # switch-hitter)

Ultimate baseball league: Tucson Padres

San Diego's second unit is a bit of a patchwork crew, with a No. 1 starter who was charged with more losses than wins over his career. Still, it's a good sample of the Padres through all their mostly mediocre uniforms and frequent costume changes.

Can you believe those all-gold uniforms that Nate Colbert (pictured) wore in the '70s?

Our imagine Tucson Padres (who, by the way, are just in Arizona for a two-year stopover) are in a division that includes the Los Angeles Angels' and Seattle Mariners' second squads. In other words, it would be more watered-down than the current NL Central.

STARTING LINEUP

1. 3B Bip Roberts,# 1990 (5.3). Not everyone was a fan of the 5-foot-7 leadoff man without a position, but he certainly speaks his mind. Working on the poachers/game warden paradox, has suggested Victor Conte be put in charge of MLB's anti-steroid enforcement.


2. DH Brian Giles,* 2005 (5.3 oWAR). His best season with the Padres. Better ballplayer than a person, evidently. Drew a ton of walks toward the end (NL-high 119 in 2005) after losing his power to Petco Park.


3. RF Sixto Lezcano, 1982 (7.2). Owns the fourth-best season ever by a Padre, which would surprise some people. One of many 1970s rightfielders with a cannon throwing arm.
   
   
4. 1B Ryan Klesko,* 2001, (5.2) / Nate Colbert (pictured), 1972 (5.2). Colbert holds one record likely to never be broken, hitting five home runs in an Aug. 1, 1972 doubleheader earn a share of a mark held by Stan Musial. What might be less known is Colbert was in the stands 18 years earlier when Musial hit five big flies in a single day.
   
   A platoon makes sense, especially since wrong-armers were Klesko's kryptonite. Some extra plate appearances might be found for both as the DH, since the UBL is playing under modern baseball rules.


5. C Terry Kennedy,* 1982 (5.4). The real-life Terry Kennedy is the manager of the actual Tucson Padres Triple-A team. You can't plan that stuff.


6. LF Gene Richards,* 1978 (3.5) / Reggie Sanders, 1999 (4.3). There is some support for Richards as a generational Padre. Had more than twice as many triples (63) as home runs (26), so that tells you how he rolled. Had the highest career batting average by a Padre prior to the arrival of Tony Gwynn, which tells you how bad the team was prior to the arrival of Tony Gwynn.
   
   Sanders is easily the most anonymous member of the 300-home run, 300-stolen base club, largely since he changed teams every two years.


7. CF Kevin McReynolds, 1984 (5.5). The lingering image of McReynolds dates from his Mets days, when he made it easy to portray him as an Arkansas yokel dropped into the Big Apple. However, he had his best season for the Padres' first pennant winner in '84, compiling a 2.0 defensive WAR.
   
   
8. 2B Quilvio Veras,# 1998 (3.6). Our first appearance from the '98 Padres team that got a severe ass-forking from the Yankees in the World Series. It would have all been different if Mark Langston hadn't been squeezed in Game 1, Itellsya.
   
   
9. SS Garry Templeton,# 1986 (3.0). Was traded straight up once for Ozzie Smith, who is in the Hall of Fame, while Templeton today is managing in the Golden Baseball League. It was kind of a big deal in 1979 when he became the first player to collect 100 hits in a season from each side of the plate; B-R.com now lists him as collecting only 95 as a righty.

STARTING PITCHERS

• RHS Clay Kirby 1972 (5.3). Power pitcher with a high walk rate, but he gave the early Padres some shred of credibility. Fans of made-up curses must love that no San Diego pitcher has thrown a no-hitter since Kirby was lifted for a pinch hitter while working on one during a 1970 game.


• RHS Andy Ashby, 1998 (5.0). Was easily confused with Alan Ashby, along with a couple of Padres pitchers with similar skills. Was second in ERA on the '98 pennant-winning team.
  
  
• RHS Andy Benes, 1993 (4.9). Won a strikeout title


• RHS Joey Hamilton, 1995 (4.9). Was good for the Padres (3.83 ERA across five seasons in the 1990s), but reeked anywhere else (cough, Toronto).


• LHS Dave Dravecky, 1985 (3.7). An inspiration to us all


• RHS Eric Show, 1986 (3.6). A tortured soul.

BENCH

• CF Jerry Mumphrey,# 1980 (3.0). In 1980, the Padres were the first team to have three players each steal at least 50 bases and they finished last in the National League West. Let that be a lesson. Mumphrey stole 52-of-57 that season.


• C Fred Kendall, 1973 (2.3). Better known as Jason Kendall's father, but was an original Padre.


• UT Tim Flannery,* 1985 (2.1). Could play second base, third and blues guitar.

BULLPEN

• CL Mark Davis, 1989 (4.4). Easily the worst pitcher to ever win a Cy Young Award; he was about the third-best pitcher on his own team that season.


• RHR Lance McCullers, 1986 (3.1). Was known as Baby Goose (as in Gossage) when he first came up in the '80s.


• RHR Luis DeLeon, 1982 (2.7). Ahead of my time, but he was very good at ages 23-24 (100-plus innings with 2-something ERAs) before fading out. He didn't stop pitching, though, going to to play in a record 14 Caribbean Series.


• LHR Craig Lefferts, 1990 (2.4). Standout middle reliever for two pennant-winning teams who overcame being unable to use his right eye when he pitched.
  
  
• RHR Mike Adams, 2010 (2.3). Future closer material or so they once said.

(* left-handed hitter; # switch-hitter)