Damn Vikings ... a pretty nice little Sunday

It's hard to imagine a better first Sunday of the NFL season for a Minnesota Vikings fan.

• Adrian Peterson has a 180-yard day in an opening win over the Browns. A good friend who is a Chicago Bears fan immediately phoned after Peterson's 64-yard touchdown run where he broke six tackles and said, "Best running back I've seen since Barry Sanders. We'll talk later."
  
  
• Ol' Brett Favre mostly just stayed out of the way. OK, so it is not so clear the Vikes could win a game if they were unable to run well.
  
  
Neither the Bears or Green Bay Packers looked all-fired great during NBC's Sunday nighter, which NBC's Al Michaels did not call "the NFL's most storied rivalry between two teams which have losing records vs. the Vikings during the Super Bowl era."


• Jay Cutler's four interceptions on Sunday night were at least as hilarious as anything Jay Leno will do Monday night.
  
  
• The Bears lost Brian Urlacher for the season. A player being injured is not something to celebrate, but if the Bears end up bringing Derrick Brooks out of retirement, it means no one can razz the Vikings about Favre being older than dirt. Thirty-six in linebacker years is older than 40 in quarterback years.
  
• We can't wait to see what the alternative point spreads will be this Sunday for the Vikings' game vs. the Detroit Lions. The APS is the brain candy of sports betting lines. There is a double-digit spread on tonight's doubleheader, Bills-Patriots and Chargers-Raiders, but it would be much more fun it you took New England by 21½ instead a mere of 11.
  
  
• Percy Harvin gets his first NFL touchdown and does some damage as a runner, receiver and a returner like a latter-day Gale Sayers.
  
  There's a reason behind citing a Bears legend. Everything Harvin will do is karma for the Bears never doing much in the '60s when they had Sayers. For that matter, everyting Peterson does vs. the Bears is karma for using high picks on Curtis Enis and Cedric Benson and for Mike Ditka not finding a way to get the greatest football player of all time, Walter Payton, a touchdown during Super Bowl 20. Just saying
  
  
• And this happened, involving the Bears former quarterback:
  
  
  
  Of course, it was a total fluke play, but nevertheless.
  
• Last but not least, Queen's won and the Saskatchewan Roughriders "went out of their way" (Regina Leader-Post) to avoid scoring 60 points against the Winnipeg Blue Bombers in the Banjo Bowl. Yeah, it was a pretty nice little Sunday.
  

Batter up: Chicago Cubs

It's that mystical, wonderful time of year where you commit to a team who you know fully well won't win. In honour of an popular Internet meme, we'll present 25 things tangentially about each Major League Baseball team. At bat: The Chicago Cubs.

1. Baseball Prospectus 2009's leaderboards see Rich Harden of Victoria, B.C., leading the majors in ERA (3.04), WHIP (1.12) and strikeouts (235).
   
   
2. Canadian insult: Ryan Dempster can go do his impression of Will Ferrell doin' an impression of Harry Caray out in the middle of a mosquito-infested lake, eh.
   
   Dempster and his spouse, Jennifer, were expecting a baby (a girl who was born last Thursday), so it's understandable that he demurred from playing for Team Canada at the WBC (although someone should have told the guy in Montreal who wrote, "Dempster must think those millionaire hockey players in the NHL who always seem to jump at the opportunity to represent Canada are crazy." There's still one living Montreal Maroon.)
   
   Dempster also just put up Triple Crown stats of 17-6 and a 2.96 ERA with 187 strikeouts, a once-a-career season, so one can understand why he wouldn't want change his routine. Granted, liking sports is not about being rational.
   
   
3. Sometimes it is this simple: The Cubbies led the National League in on-base (.354) and slugging percentage (.443) last year before adding Milton Bradley's big bat.
   
   
4. Their outlook summed up in one line from an Apatow movie: "Try some wrong, dog." It's a good group of complementary players, with catcher Geovany Soto as the one legit star at the eight everyday spots.
   
   
5. It's tempting to think ace Carlos Zambrano spoke for more than a few players when he wished the Cubs would get a new stadium. The place is 95 years old, for pete's sake.
   
   
6. The Cubs don't have a ton of depth in their farm system, raising the question of what they would give the Padres for Jake Peavy.
   
   
7. Harden has a rep as damaged goods. The Beep notes that Cubs manager Lou Piniella has a track record with brilliant-but-brittle pitchers. Jose Rijo had his three best seasons with Piniella in Cincinnati from 1990-92, averaging 204 innings a season with a 2.59 ERA and 1.107 WHIP.
   
   
8. Carlos Marmol has been the closer-elect for a while. Kevin Gregg, who saved 29 games for Florida last season, has been installed as closer.
   
   
9. You'll grow sick of hearing that leftfielder Alfonso Soriano went 3-for-28 in the playoffs the past two seasons. The sample sizes in the post-season are too small to really form firm conclusions.
   
   
10. Milton Bradley, who's 31, wasn't born the last time a Cubs had a 30-homer season from a left-handed hitter. That streak likely continues unless you believe Kosuke Fukudome has some latent home-run tendencies.
    
    Bradley is more dangerous from the right side, but going with Fukudome in right field again is the equivalent of bringing Zambuca to a party. Fukudome's passable in centrefield if there's no one better.
    
    
11. Neal Cotts is the only left-hander in the bullpen. Marmol is pretty tough on all hitters, though.
    
    
12. Neither second baseman Mike Fontenot nor shortstop Ryan Theriot is up to playing every day, but they can be on the Bobby Hebert All-Stars every day (that's American athletes with French-sounding names; they won a College World Series title together at Louisiana State).
    
    
13. Derrek Lee and Aramis Ramirez make for a decent set of corner infielders. It's still hard to believe Lee once had 99 extra-base hits in a season.
    
    
14. Minor League Ball says the Cubs have "no one with impact hitting potential at the higher levels" of the minor leagues. There goes another destination for Roy Halladay.
    
    
15. Theodore Lilly is a good glue guy as the fourth starter, 200 innings a season, ERA in the high 3s or low 4s. Sweet liquor eases the pain of the year when he was the lone Jay selected for the all-star game, even if he and I share a birthday.
    
    
16. Former Jay Reed Johnson, according to a panel of Jays Talk callers, has been voted the greatest baseball player of all time. He wasn't a league-average hitter last season. He didn't have a 50% success rate as a base stealer (5-for-11) and he only hit six home runs all season while playing at Wrigley Field, but he's a white guy who always looks like he's trying really hard.
    
    We dare not think of the bitterness that will happen if the Cubbies make the World Series.
    
    
17. True to form, the Chicago writers are already up in arms over Fukudome starting in centrefield over Johnson: "Forget the idea of a platoon unless Johnson shows one is necessary."Johnson has a career on-base-plus-slugging of .712 vs. right-handers. What more does he have to do to show it's necessary?


18. The Cubs are 163-128 (.560) since June 1, 2007. Keep in mind that includes the oh-fer in the playoffs.
    
    
19. It's fake baseball, so it shouldn't really be annoying, but National League teams shouldn't get use a DH whenever they pretty much feel like it during spring training games. They get to have it both ways: More swings for their players before the season starts, less swings for the AL teams' guys once the season starts. Screw them.
    
    
20. Kris Pollina was the only one out of Baseball Daily Digest's 11 prognosticators who doesn't have the Cubbies making their third straight playoff appearance (which would be unprecedented for a Chicago baseball team).
    
    
21. Good trivia question for the year 2025: Utilityman Aaron Miles got the first hit in the new Yankee Stadium.
    
    
22. Right-hander Jeff Samardzija gave up football to focus on baseball, but as long as he's in same city as the NFL's Bears, he's the best wide receiver in town. (Yes, Samardzija is in Triple-A.)
    
    
    (This what happens when you cheer for the Vikings and they don't get Jay Cutler. You have to compliment a Notre Dame guy to zing the Bears.)
    
    
23. Great Bermanesque nickname suggestion, which best of all, did not come from Chris Berman: Bleed Cubbie Blue has come up with Starlin "Vocal Band" Castro.
    
    The Cubs do play the most afternoon games of any major-league team.
    
    
24. Pedro Martínez's career 4.12 ERA at Wrigley Field is the worst for any part where he's pitched at least 50 innings. That might come up later this season — or not.
    
    
25. One reason not to replace Wrigley that no one thought of: There is the risk future generations might not get the part in The Blues Brothers when Dan Aykroyd's character listed his address as 1060 West Addison St.
    

The laughingstock Lions... but be careful

Two pieces of writing relating to the Detroit Lions asbatively posilutely must be shared on the eve of Christmas Eve.

Dan Wetzel at Yahoo! Sports went back-to-back on the Lions on Sunday and Monday. The second is the real honey peach, chastising NFL commissioner Roger Goodell for not getting involved when a member team franchise decides to field something less than a pro team.

Kissing Suzy Kolber has its take posted.

The best of Wetzel:

"... football in Detroit is dead until there’s a change at the top.

"Goodell is doing the league and its fans a disservice by allowing such mismanagement. The Lions do not have NFL-caliber players or NFL-caliber coaches. It isn’t an NFL organization.

"He needs to step in and if not move Ford out, then at least demand he accepts league assistance to help the franchise become legitimate.

"...If Goodell can get tough with players for off-field misbehavior, then why not an owner for prolonged on-field crimes against the sport?

As for KSK, it has to be read in its entirety.

This is where I fail. No doubt, given the opportunity and the forum, I'd just say something sarcastic about how being 0-15 cannot be any more ignominious than fumbling seven times in a home game with the division title on the line, when you play in a domed stadium.

It is still win and you're in for the Minnesota Vikings. They should be able to beat the New York Giants, who have nothing at stake Sunday, and the Chicago Bears might have trouble on the road with the Houston Texans. For pity's sake, the Bears could barely muster 200 yards' offence at home against a depleted defence last night, yet won thanks to out-and-out nincompoopery (two missed field goals and a fumbled point) and some curious turns of fate. It serves any Vikes fan right for putting any hopes on the Green Bay Packers.

Related:
Detroit debacle must be stopped (Dan Wetzel, Yahoo! Sports)
You suck. Now start acting like it (Kissing Suzy Kolber)

Snark break ...

As you were getting ready for that big dance number ...

First things first: Of all the stories about the people who fought and served for Canada, here's a great one about the World War II pilot who was saved by a hockey jersey.

Second of all, just by a little: Our own Duane Rollins, friend, author, man for all seasons, has a birthday today. He has repaired our losses, healed some soccerophobes and brought a whole new dimension to this site. The six months have passed by very quickly because he makes doing this so damn enjoyable. He is No. 1 in the Top 27.

And just to make everyone feel older, a remake of The Karate Kid, starring Will Smith's 10-year-old son is in the works.

Mike Singletary might have been the opposing middle linebacker the last time the San Francisco 49ers converted in a short-yardage situation. A team with Mike Martz on its staff could screw it up after being three yards from a winning touchdown with 45 seconds left? You don't say.

A moratorium on Detroit Lions jokes should be in effect. It is officially spoof-proof when it's got to the point that Motor City newspapers are trying to get people riled up over what some guy in Iowa thinks.

You are already late to the Navy will beat Notre Dame bandwagon, but there is still room.

There is a sneaking suspicion that Michael Bishop will be back in Argoland. He has not been recycled enough.

The Cincinnati Reds pitcher Edinson Volquez is so good that he finished fourth in rookie year of the balloting even though he's not a rookie.

There is no sympathy for the fans of the old Dallas TV show feeling ripped off after attending a cast reunion. This was the same TV series where an entire season turned out to be a dream.

Ian Mendes has the Worst 10 Sports Commercials in Canadian history. OK, so Roberto Alomar is Puerto Rican, not Dominican, but that should can be overlooked, because Mendes noted, long before Ichiro put his first name on the back of his jersey, Canadians had Albert:



There's a commercial running in Canada that shows Wayne Gretzky and Maurice Richard teaming up as linemates. It's an absolute affront to hockey history -- it shows Gretzky winning a faceoff.

The preceding is of dubious worth, but this is worth noting

• Mike Winters of Covered In Oil fame is now over at the Battle of Alberta, a cadre of Edmonton Oilers fanatics who are consolidating their power.

Snark break... Mike Singletary not the only '85 Bear with a fight on his hands

It's better not to get into why, as a sports nut, Serious Issues seem less important than picayune little things. "Hey, the loonie just fell below 78 cents US." ... "Yes, but did you see that Jim McMahon's old college has never put him in their sports hall of fame, even though -- as his 72-year-old father points out in an open letter to the school's athletic director -- he is in the College Football Hall of Fame, set 57 NCAA records and was an all-America twice?"

Who outside of the great state of Utah* knew that Jim McMahon wasn't in Brigham Young University's sports hall of fame, until 30 minutes ago? Who knew BYU had a sports hall of fame? Don't answer those. There is a grave injustice to be corrected.

McMahon Sr. claims is that his son, a non-Mormon, ruffled some feathers during his time in Provo, Utah -- hard to imagine, considering what your image probably is of the punky QB. Toward the end of his run, the school made a rule that you had to have completed a degree to be in the BYU Hall -- and right after the punky QB's last college game, he was suspended from school and finished nine credits short of graduation. Other players who did not graduate -- it's major-college football -- have surely been inducted. It's major college football. There would be no Halls of Fame if graduation was a requirement.

It might seem like a "who cares?" sort of thing. It does mean that if you ever saw a clip from the 1980 Holiday Bowl on YouTube, though, you have been contributing to the Big Lie.



Think about that! (Using Coldplay to score a dramatic Hail Mary touchdown pass? The crazy thing is it works.)

Other one-liners:

More headlines that cannot be written: "Charles Dubin — dead at 87, forever associated with '88."

Shaun Alexander is back in the NFL for a reason -- so Deion Sanders could call him the "Tiptoe Burglar." It just sounds worse than it is.

Again, on some level, Tampa Bay Rays fans do come of like turnip truckers in that whole story about obnoxious Phillies fans. Of course no one should throw food at a nine-year-old. That's just stupid. What else did you expect, though?

This post is worth nothing ... this is worth noting:

• The latest in the David Frost trial, not for the faint of heart.
• Be ready to see Marvin Harrison possibly leaving the Indianapolis Colts.
• A Tyler Holmes update: The Ottawa native's Tulsa Golden Hurricane are 8-0 after a 30-point win over Central Florida that was broadcast on ESPN. The Tulsa World has video -- you can see No. 78 at left tackle pop up in a couple clips, including one at the 3:15 mark where he springs the Tulsa QB, David Johnson, for a huge gain.
• Cracked has "excerpts" of Miley Cyrus' memoir.


• In the OHL, the Peterborough Petes might trade Trevor Cann to Windsor ... wouldn't that make 6-foot-8 Zack Missaien the starter?

(McMahon link via RosenBlog.)

(* It only gets this designation because it became a state on Jan. 4, which is my birthday, plus "Utahns" -- not Utahans -- is just cool to type.)