Friday, August 10, 2007

KARMA CAN ONLY BE PORTIONED OUT BY PINBALL

The great organizing principle of the universe got Calgary Stampeders coach Tom Higgins back good last night for that tacky trick-play touchdown he tacked on vs. the Toronto Argonauts a few weeks ago. The guy who had no misgivings about calling a fake field goal in the final minutes of a blowout win was somewhat less ballsy during Calgary's 30-18 loss in Montreal last night. In the final seconds of the first half, down by 14 points and inside the Alouettes' 5-yard line, Higgins decided to try a chip-shot field goal on second down, instead of running a play (and risk having time run out).

A touchdown there could have turned the game around, but a sure three points is a sure three points, eh? Well, not for people who piss off Pinball Clemons, whose relationship with the cosmos and certain celestial bodies is unimpeachable (evidently much more so than his grasp of finding any consistency on offence, but that's just nitpicking). On the field goal try, Calgary holder Brett Ralph muffed the snap and did a bad Doug Flutie impression -- running around willy-nilly before tossing up a prayer of a pass -- which killed the clock. Calgary got zero points, which is what Higgins has in the class department.

Back to vacationing...

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