STUFF YOU JUST ASSUMED YOU'D WAKE UP TO MONDAY...

• That a member of my Minnesota Vikings (cornerback Cedric Griffin) would be the first player arrested since the implementation of the NFL's new conduct policy, and it would be for something that was, for lack of a better word, dumb. Griffin was thrown out of a nightclub since his pants were riding too low.
• Snow on the ground on Ottawa the day before the Lynx home opener.
• MSN messages about the Jays being done without B.J. Ryan. So why is the Jays bullpen fifth in the American League in ERA (3.28) and third in opponents' batting average (.211) even though Ryan struggled before going on the DL? Don't focus on the star system.
• Will Ferrell, half-naked in public. Seriously, he must be stopped.
• The Star's Dave Feschuk turning in a great column on the possibility of the Raptors facing Vin Weasel in Round 1 of the playoffs. It would be a doozy.