AIN'T NO PARTY LIKE A GREY CUP PARTY: CAN LIONS TAME THE ALS?

OK, so we're not actually in Winnipeg -- that would be the magnificent bastards behind BoatmenBlog -- or write have a take as inspired as the one at Orland Kurtenblog. Yet, the Grey Cup is here, and it's the biggest truly Canadian sports event there is, so here is a preview of tomorrow's B.C. Lions-Montréal Alouettes showdown presented in our "Eight Questions" format. Why 8? Well, five isn't enough, but 10 would require a real effort. And oh, yes, there will be a live blog tomorrow.

1. First things first. Did the standard provincial premiers' wager -- British Columbia's Gordon Campbell put up a case of B.C. win against Quebec's Jean Charest's case of apple cider -- seem a little lame?
   
   To someone born and bred in "Presbytario," yes. Campbell could have put up ski passes to Whistler and the unlisted phone numbers of Ross Rebagliati's, uh, "best pals." Charest could have offered a smoked-meat sandwich from Schwartz's Delicatessen and a lap dance at Club Super Sexe. Given Gordo's drunk driving conviction, alcohol probably shouldn't have been involved in such a wager.


2. American reader here... so can the Als move the ball against that B.C. defence? By the way, it's so cute how you Canadians put the C in offense and defense... eh?
   
   So much depends on their offensive line, with tackles Uzooma Okeke and Dave Mudge likely matched up against B.C.'s defensive ends, Kingston-born Brent Johnson and Aaron Hunt.
   
   B.C.'s defensive front is good enough to pressure Als QB Anthony Calvillo without bringing a lot of pressure, meaning it's more likely passes will get thrown into double coverage. Calvillo's going to have to have a great day throwing to tough spots -- deep corners, intermediate crossing routes -- to pull this off.
   
3. What about the Lions' O vs. Montreal's D?
   
   With such a good offensive line, it's as if B.C.'s brilliantly brittle QB, Dave Dickenson, is throwing passes from the Popemobile. He's also learned to get the ball out quickly so he's almost never hit. The Lions are really a ball-control team -- short passes, mix in running back Joe Smith. They don't really get aggressively until they're down to around the 30-yard line, where they can get Geroy Simon in a jump ball against a shorter defensive back.
   
   Can Montreal stop it? Dickenson is in the shotgun more often than not, which negates blitzing. But if they lay back and play a vanilla defence, he'll complete almost everything.
   
   For Montreal, it probably comes down to DBs such as Davis Sanchez and Richard Karikari playing over their heads, and the Als coming up with a couple fumble recoveries.
   
4. How likely are we to see a kick returned for a touchdown?
   
   Very unlikely. Would you believe only three kicks were run back all the way this season, compared to 18 in 2005? Besides, Montreal's Ezra Landry is injured. The Winnipeg Sun's Paul Friesen, pointed out the other day that increasing the dress roster from 40 to 42 players probably has limited the impact a return man can have on the game.
   
5. Please make this relevant to the people in the centre of the universe… which of the players on the field Sunday will good in Argonauts' double blue next season?
   
   Nautyn McKay-Loesher of the Lions, who's from the GTA, has expressed a desire to be back in southern Ontario, and one of his linemates, Tyrone Williams, has hit a roadblock in his contract negotiations. Cahoon is a potential free agent.
   
6. Sentimental choice for the game's Outstanding Canadian?
   
   For the Lions, Ryan Thelwell, who's already been told he won't be re-signed in the off-season. Johnson, though, is a more likely candidate, as is slotback Jason Clermont or wideout Paris Jackson. No telling what folks in Saskatchewan will do if ex-Rider Paul McCallum, B.C.'s kicker, wins it. As my friend Keith Borkowsky (a Manitoba-based B.C. fan) put it earlier in the week, for a Riders fan the thought of McCallum earning a Grey Cup ring is like a Southern Baptist minister finding out his 16-year-old daughter has been dating Borat for six months.
   
   For the Als, Ben Cahoon is the obvious pick.
   
   Personally, I'm rooting for Paris Jackson, since a lot of fans will likely go, "Huh, he's Canadian?" (Thelwell told the Globe and Mail, "In one game, a player asked Paris Jackson where he was from in the States. He's from Vancouver.")
   
   Call it polite Canadian prejudice -- people see a guy who's good, from a major D-1 school (Utah) and, uh, black -- assume he's American.
   
7. By the way, Sager, you and the aforementioned Brent Johnson are both from the Kingston, Ont., area, you're both 1996 graduates of high schools that are 20 minutes apart on Hwy. 2, yet on Friday you didn't didn't acknowledge him being named the CFL's top defensive player and top Canadian. What gives?
   
   Short answer: Personal crisis (which has passed) and the nature of the Ernestown Eagles-Holy Cross Crusaders non-rivalry rivalry. The schools compete for students -- and Holy Cross, the shiny, new, Catholic school with that faux private school sheen, takes away a lot of students from ESS, the much-maligned "rural school." Still, the rivalry doesn't extend to sports. ESS doesn't have a football team, and in my day at least, the two schools weren't strong in any of the same sports; we did well in basketball and volleyball, and Holy Cross (it had to do with being a Catholic school with a lot of Portugeuse and Italian kids) dominated in soccer.
   
   Not that I'll never send some shouts out to a former Crusader -- I've mentioned the Argos' Jon Landon here and there, but of course's he's also a Queen's Golden Gael.
   
8. Well, how about a prediction?
   
   Sure. Lions 30, Als 17.

That's all for now. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.