EASY LIKE SUNDAY MORNING: VARIOUS NOTES

There's nothin' uglier than a man hittin' his stride...

• If you want to feel even more embarrassed about belonging to the male gender than usual, read L.A. Times writer Claire Hoffman's account of her run-in with Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis, a man who puts the sorry in impresario.
  
  The story opens with Hoffman being physically assaulted by Francis, and goes from there. (Hat tip to Aaron Gleeman for picking up on this.)
• Speaking of dudes who allegedly act on a thing for the young girls, New York Mets catcher Paul Lo Duca's predicament -- the gambling allegations, the divorce papers, the adultery allegations -- can be seen as karma. Lo Duca was voted in as an All-Star Game starter last month despite the fact he's having a hardly stellar season. The Baseball Gods took note and apparently decided to bring the noise.
• The one and only Neal Pollack gives you a glimpse of what might I would be like to deal with if I lived in Toronto and had enough free time to attend lots of Blue Jays games. The Geek made me this way, gentle readers.
• The Geek can't resist pointing out that Bill Simmons' latest column sardonically refers to an actor who "shows about as much range as Mark Loretta," even though The Hardball Times ranks Loretta is the best defensive second baseman in the American League.
• NFL pre-season note: Reggie Bush is going to do very, very well in New Orleans, but keep an eye on Jacksonville rookie running back Maurice Jones-Drew, a similarly explosive back who played for L.A.'s other college team, UCLA. Jones-Drew had a 55-yard catch-and-run touchdown last night, showing that he's good enough to have two last names.
• After Vince Young sprained his ankle last night, there's going to be a lot of talk about how his scrambling style won't work in the pros. What do people want him to do? Put on 30 pounds so he has to become an immobile dropback passer?
• Football schadenfreude, CFL-style: Damon Allen came back from injury to pass for 322 yards and the Toronto Argonauts rolled past the Hamilton Tiger-Cats 20-2. The Argos played like something resembling a real team, and Hamilton not only looked like a bunch of XFL rejects in its gold third uniforms, but played like one too. The only redeeming part of Hamilton's evening was that those uniforms are going to be auctioned off for charity.
• Incidentally, former Queen's Golden Gaels tailback Bryan Crawford, who's now a special teams contributor for the Argos, got his first carry of the season late in the game and fumbled the handoff. Ouch. Knowing how hard Crawford has worked to stick in the CFL and the fact the game was in his hometown, you really had to empathize with him. Here's hoping he won't get caught in a numbers game if the Argos decide to dress both John Avery and Ricky Williams when the latter is cleared to play.
• Credit the Ottawa Lynx for getting creative with their promotions. Following next Thursday's game, the team is going to attempt to get in the Guinness Book of World Records for the most people dancing 'the twist' simultaneously. Apparently they only need 2,000 to do so, so it's within reach for the Lynx.

That's all for now. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.