EARLY MORNING MISSIVES

• Not much to say about the Jays' 7-2 shellacking at the hands of the Orioles last night. Since Gustavo Chacin isn't ready to go, Scott Downs had to start and was terrible, and about the only highlight was 2 2/3 scoreless innings from Davis Romero in his big-league debut.
• So how many thousands of teeth-gnashing words is Bill Simmons going to write somet time next week about the day Johnny Damon had at Fenway yesterday? All Damon did was go 6-for-12 with two homers and seven RBI in the Yankees' doubleheader sweep over Boston.
• Those madcap loonies at Cracked have done it again. The 10 Best Will Ferrell Skits, indeed!
• See the New York Times through the eyes of a a right-winger.
• Marion Jones, Marion Jones, Marion Jones, what are we going to do with you? The golden girl of the 2000 Olympics failed a drug test, becoming the third high-profile U.S. athlete in a few months to get busted for blood doping, joining cyclist Floyd Landis and sprinter Justin Gatlin. The U.S. used to hardly ever get busted. What's changed?
• The Edmonton Eskimos really shot themselves in both feet last night, all but handing the B.C. Lions a 30-28 win. Edmonton quarterback Ricky Ray threw two interceptions that were returned for touchdowns. For a capper, after Ray got the Eskies in range for a game-winning field-goal try with 17 seconds left, Edmonton decided to kick on second down. That's SOP since you want to have another chance in case of a bad snap or botched hold, except Edmonton let the clock run down to zero before snapping the ball. The hold was botched, and the game was over. Game note: B.C.'s Geroy Simon has now gained more yards receiving for the Lions than the great Swervin' Mervyn Fernandez did.
• Here's the video and some stills from Maria Sharapova's new Nike commercial that you will all be sick of by the time the U.S. Open ends. (From Inside SoCal.)

Just a heads-up: Posting may be lighter this weekend since ... it's the middle of August. There's not a heck of a lot of compelling topics out there. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.