HEY, PRODUCER, LEAVE MY SCORES ALONE

As a good friend said two days ago, it does look like Rogers Sportsnet may be trying to style itself as Spike TV Canada. There's a speculative column in the Toronto Star today by Chris Zelkovich that, quoting anonymous staffers, wonders just what in the name of Max Jackson does the network mean when it "... says its main goal is to become 'the first choice of younger men for sports information and entertainment' and to provide more 'fun and energy'"?

What does it mean? Zelkovich notes that all that's really known right now is that the channel has applied for a licence change so it can show dramas and movies, just on the off-hand chance there's a male aged 18 to 34 who hasn't Major League or Jerry Maguire on TBS. It probably also means turning up the Bimbo Factor to 11.

In a related story, CBS Sportsline and Maxim magazine are also planning some sort of partnership. Apparently, the former decided it wasn't enough to be an informative, easy-to-navigate sports news website... you have to have babes.

Why do they do this? Why is it, that when you want to get the younger male audience, you automatically show scantily clad women in lieu of being original and insightful? Sadly, this will probably work, but strange as it might sound, there are many guys out there who just want their sports fix; if they want Maxim-ized women, they will read Maxim, or better yet, buy some publication which isn't "Playboy for guys who are too repressed or too whipped to actually buy a Playboy." In other words, something that actually shows the naughty bits.

(And Playboy is for guys who are too repressed or too whipped to buy Perfect 10, but that's neither here nor there.)

Getting back to the point of today's diatribe, you have to understand Sportsnet's dilemma. There's a perception out there, unfairly and not, that it's tried to beat TSN at its own game, and there's just no getting past the fact the other network had a 15-year head start on ingratiating itself with sports fans. Meantime, The Score, launched around the same time, is doing better at picking up newer viewers, especially younger viewers.

LESS HOCKEY IS MORE

So here's some cheap advice for the Sportsnet honchos that they can feel free to casually disregard: Stick with what you're doing, but dial it back on the all-hockey, all-the-time nonsense. That's what making people not tune in. Contrary to popular belief, there is a ceiling on how much hockey news 'n' views the public needs or wants to see.

Maybe there's no cause-and-effect, but that's why The Score is capturing the young, mostly male viewers Sportsnet is after. (It's also possible they aren't watching at all -- the Internet is the preferred medium.)

The Score seems to realize there's more than one pro league that people care about in Canada, especially as it relates to young Canadian sports followers. You actually get English and European soccer scores, NCAA and Canadian university football and in-depth NBA highlights (as much as highlights can be in-depth). Sure, hockey still gets top billing on The Score more often than not, but it makes a place for other sports, which is why it's found an audience. They're certainly not tuning in to watch various interchangeable males desperately, and a little bit pathetically, flirting with Caroline Frolic.

Sportsnet should realize that re-launching itself as some half-baked hodgepodge of trash entertainment with a little sprinkling of sports will please neither "Xtreme." As the Ottawa Sun's Rob Brodie noted in his column today, Sportsnet just got four of the 10 biggest audiences in its history for the recent World Cup. Ratings for its Blue Jays broadcasts are also up markedly over the past two years. The ratings might not have reflected, but showing almost all of the World Baseball Classic is a feather in its cap.

So really, Sportsnet should be happy with its lot, having become the No. 2 cable sports network in Canada despite the millstone around its neck that is its dunderhead-in-residence Nick Kypreos. Dial back on the hockey, and that younger viewer might come back.

Give the scores, give the info. Don't tart it up with the Bimbo Factor. Please.

(For the uninitiated, Max Jackson was a long-time Kingston sportscaster. His signature sign-off, "If you can't play a sport, be one!" remains my voice-mail greeting, and yes, that is more than a little embarrassing.)

Related:
Equal-Opportunity Offender: We Eat TV 'Sports Personalities' For Lunch (June 27)
Oh, And Nick Kypreos? Still A Dunderhead (June 27)
Blog Blasts Past, No. 1: Me 'N' Adnan V. (June 26)

That's all for now. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.