GARTH SNOW THIS TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS

The hockey world is still in shock over the New York Islanders promoting Garth Snow from backup goalie to first-string general manager.

Somehow, Snow was given the job by Islanders owner Charles Wang despite a near-total lack of credentials in hockey executivehood. (Somehow, NBA commissioner David Stern is behind this. You heard it here first.)

The sneaking suspicion one can't help having is he must have done an awful lot of apple-polishing to get into Wang's good graces. So at the suggestion of good friend Neil Acharya, here's something the kids will all be saying within a couple of months, using the man's name as a verb:

Garth Snow (v.) 1. Ordering someone to perform a favour usually done by a lackey or subordinate; 2. var. Garth Snowed (v.), description of generally sycophantic behaviour that ingratiates an individual with his social or professional superiors.

Say you just feel like messing with one of your friends: "Hey, Garth Snow me some coffee." ... "Garth Snow my garbage out for me." And so on.

Or you're at work, chatting with the one colleague who actually outdoes you for bitterness, and the office brownnoser who's risen to a level in the company you can never hope to attain passes by. Once he's out of earshot:

"He only got to where he is because he Garth Snowed so much for the boss."

Hopefully, this takes off better than the last foray into hockey-inspired slang that yours truly was involved with.

During the 2001 playoffs, when the media was completely running the "Ray Bourque finally gets to win the Stanley Cup" angle into the ground and most hockey fans really couldn't care less one way or the other, Neil and mutual friend Ben Milledge, on the Kingston college radio show the three of us had at the time, coined the verb bourqued to describe "the condition of being so sick of hearing about something that you've reached the point of apathy."

As in: "Man, I am totally bourqued about American Idol."

(Note: it's not cool to be bourqued about stuff that actually matters, such as the Middle East.)

That never caught on, likely since it was the invention of a couple guys on a college radio show in Kingston, Ontario, during the summer no less, but there is real potential for Garth Snow, the verb. The NHL executive? That remains to be seen.

So Garth Snow this post to all your friends, will ya? Much appreciated. And if the mood strikes, get someone to Garth Snow your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.

Related:
Snow Men Abound in the NHL (Washington Times)