MIDDAY MISSIVES -- WE STILL CAN'T GET OVER THE SIZEMORE GIRLS

Just a short post before heading out to work. I live in a tall building, so remind me to watch out for falling Sens fans.

Yesterday, I brought you tale of the the freakishly devoted fans of Grady Sizemore, who have not one but two websites devoted to the Cleveland centre-fielder. By the way, who do you think would win a brawl between the Sizemore Girls and the Grady Ladies? And would anyone throw a trident?

My friend Greg Hughes and I, well, we find this fascinating. We keep looking for the self-aware irony, the way the scientific community looks for the Missing Link and ... it's just not there. Not a single trace we-know-this-is-silly irony.

• "Have these girls ever spent time outside of a bar?"
• "Wow, they love everything mainstream. Dinner's on, ladies."
• Apparently, as one of the sites reports, Sizemore, or "S," as he's referred to, has the Dave Matthews Band on his iPod. Wow, a jock who listens to Dave Matthews to tap into his sensitive side. This has never happened before, anywhere.

I know, I know. Don't criticize what you can't understand. But if I subscribed to that principle, there would be no Out of Left Field.

Moving on . . .

• So how are the Jays going to get their two wins in the Oakland series? They need Josh Towers to turn it around against Dan Haren tonight, plain and simple. The outlook is good for the next two games -- it's Joe Blanton and Gustavo Chacin on Wednesday, followed by Kirk Saarloos-Ted Lilly matchup on Thursday afternoon, but outside of the two Canadian NHL teams still in the playoffs, no one is more desperate for a win than Towers.
• Damien Cox's analysis of the Senators predicament in today's Toronto Star was pretty much bang-on, but where were the Simpsons references?

See you after the games tonight.